Mason is almost 2 months old and it feels like time is flying by. This has made me realize that I need to capture as many of these moments as possible. Most people do this by taking pictures. We have an AMAZING photographer who will be taking pictures of Mason at months 3, 6, 9 and 12...but I feel like I need more. I want him to be able to look back and be able to understand how happy he makes Ryan and I and his grandparents. I want him to know what its like to be a parent, I want him to know what he looked like, acted like, smelled like..
So I've been emailing him. His email address is OurBabyMason@gmail.com if you would like to email him too. Ive been emailing him once or twice a week since I was 8 months pregnant, and I feel like its an amazing way for me to capture the most important parts, since we cant afford a big nice camera. Sometimes Ill email him at 3 in the morning, asking him why he is wide-awake and staring at me, instead of letting me sleep. I'll email him with pictures that I've taken, or milestones that he has accomplished. When Mason turns 18 (tenatively, I havent decided when exactly..) I'm going to give him the email address and password, so he can read (or not, he is a boy, after all haha!) all the emails. Cute, right?
I'll be honest, sometimes its frustrating at 3am when he hasnt slept since 9pm...but even as he is screaming in my face when I'm cuddling him, I'm basking in those moments. How much longer will I be able to hold him so close? How much longer will he be in these tiny onezies? These are the things that make me want to capture EVERY memory right now. I dont want to miss or forget a single thing! He is asleep in his swing right now, and he looks absolutely angelic. It's crazy to sit in the same chair and see how big he is compared to just 6 weeks ago. I'm in love. hopelessly, unconditionally, and happily in love.
-Mason's Momma
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Life and Body Post-Baby
I can usually predict a person's reaction when they see Mason and I out somewhere.
Older ladies eyes go straight from Mason to my left hand, which is ringless, and then the judging begins. They ask "why arent you married" "do you know who the father is"...(rude, right?!?!) blah blah blah. Dont care. I'm just glad im not their children, God help them if they ever make a mistake! For the record: Ryan and I will get married when/if we feel like it. We are pretty content just being in love with each other and our little peapod. If its not broke, dont fix it, right? :)
Guys tend to look at my new boobs (which I totally probably deserve it, since I wear tank tops all the time) then at the baby. Everyone else just coos over how cute he is, and I just love it.
They then ask a series of questions, and I find it a little funny that everyone says the same things in the same order! 1. What's his name 2. How Old is he? 3.You had a baby a month ago? you look really good (yessss!) 4. How was labor 5. How do you like parenting?
It's terrible, but sometimes i'll switch up my process and tell them his name is a series of clicks and beeps, or that I went into labor in a field, or that I hate parenting, and I just leave the baby in a rubbermaid container in the basement when he cries.... I usually get dirty looks for that, but hey. A girl's gotta get her kicks somewhere!
Okay, so I absolutely have to talk about this, because it interests me. So throughout the pregnancy, I was only concerned about his health and safety, so I just ate whatever I wanted. I only gained 9 pounds until my 6th month, then when Mason started growing faster, so did I! I ended up gaining a total of about 35 pounds. Most of that weight was in my belly, but in the last month, my face got a little chunky too. Probably because Mason made me addicted to pastries :)
After he was born, I immediately lost 20 pounds. Over the course of the next 10 days, I lost 10 more pounds, partly from lack of sleep (I burned so many calories staying up all the time) and partly because breastfeeding is the best tool a momma has to get her post-baby body back!
I also used this:
It's called ShrinkX hips. After you have a baby, your uterus naturally shrinks down to its post-baby size, but your hips WILL NOT shrink back. However, in the first 8 weeks of post-baby life, your body has a TON of the hormone relaxin flowing through it. ShrinkX is an elasticky band that you put around your hips and tighten as your hips get smaller. 4 weeks later, and Im back in my size 1 shorts!
I should be getting paid for this! haha :) but honestly. If you are pregnant or VERY recently had a baby, BUY THIS! I will save SO much money since I wont have to go buy new clothes. :) yay.
Okay, it cant all be good, that's for sure. the skin on my stomach still has some elastic qualities, no matter how many sit ups I do. You cant see this, but I know what it feels like and I think its creepy. All in all, Im pretty happy with how I look, which surprises me, because Ryan tells me I am WAY too particular.
I tried to take a picture of me post-baby while holding Mason, but it was REALLY hard. I'll have someone take a picture for me soon and Ill post it. So heres me- July 9th- one month post-baby
I'm certain that even if I had never lost an ounce of baby weight, I'd still be madly in love with my son, and would do it all over again! :) Babies rock.
-Mason's Momma
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Masons First Month
Today is Mason's One Month birthday!
This past month has been an absolute WHIRLWIND! We have had such an amazing time getting used to being parents. In all honesty, it feels like it has only been one really long week, probably because we never sleep anymore :) If this blog makes little or no sense, it is because I am seriously losing my marbles over lack of sleep. The craziest part is...I could live in these moments! When I feel the most tired and run down, all I need to do is look into these eyes and I could run a marathon
I:
-travel in and out of sanity on a daily basis, going from mom to girlfriend to friend. Mason consumes every minute of my day, and I wouldnt have it any other way, but sometimes it feels like SO MUCH
-love falling asleep in the rocking chair with him, just so I can see him smiling at me in his sleep :)
-have the most amazing boyfriend. Ryan is the epitome of the perfect father, staying up late with Mason even though he has to work on the weekdays, just to let me get some rest
-have had a little trouble maintaining my breastmilk supply in the last week, and its stressing me out, which is making it even MORE difficult to maintain the supply. ugh
-was away from him for 5 hours, and I could barely stand it, I need to be able to hold my little man on an hourly basis. Returning to work is going to be ROUGH.
We love going out together as a family :)
All in all, I am amazed at how well Ryan and I are adjusting to parenthood. We may sleep in separate rooms since Mason would rather sleep on the ottoman than his bassinet, get frustrated with each other when we cant figure out why he is crying, and havent had a good balanced meal in a few weeks, but we love it, and we love him, more than anything else. (whoa run-on sentence, told you I was losing it! haha) We wouldnt trade this for anything in the world.
Have you ever held your heart in your hands?
-Mason's Momma
**photos copyright SavannaSmiles Photography**
This past month has been an absolute WHIRLWIND! We have had such an amazing time getting used to being parents. In all honesty, it feels like it has only been one really long week, probably because we never sleep anymore :) If this blog makes little or no sense, it is because I am seriously losing my marbles over lack of sleep. The craziest part is...I could live in these moments! When I feel the most tired and run down, all I need to do is look into these eyes and I could run a marathon
He:
-already weighs over 10 pounds, chunky monkey boy!
- lifts his head when he is laying on our chests or during tummy time
-is a smidgen colicky, but it gets better every day
-didnt poop for a WEEK and it worried the heck out of us! but he has since pooped, and I never thought I'd be so happy to see a bunch of baby turds haha
-still loves bath-time. So cute.
-can look Ryan and I in the eyes, and its absolutely heart-melting
-is VERY picky about where he falls asleep. Example: unless he is in our arms in a blanket, sleep will NOT happen
-travel in and out of sanity on a daily basis, going from mom to girlfriend to friend. Mason consumes every minute of my day, and I wouldnt have it any other way, but sometimes it feels like SO MUCH
-love falling asleep in the rocking chair with him, just so I can see him smiling at me in his sleep :)
-have the most amazing boyfriend. Ryan is the epitome of the perfect father, staying up late with Mason even though he has to work on the weekdays, just to let me get some rest
-have had a little trouble maintaining my breastmilk supply in the last week, and its stressing me out, which is making it even MORE difficult to maintain the supply. ugh
-was away from him for 5 hours, and I could barely stand it, I need to be able to hold my little man on an hourly basis. Returning to work is going to be ROUGH.
We love going out together as a family :)
Have you ever held your heart in your hands?
-Mason's Momma
**photos copyright SavannaSmiles Photography**
Sunday, June 19, 2011
One Week Old
Mason is now 10 days old. This post is 3 days late, but my only chance to blog is when he is sleeping...which happens to be the only times I sleep as well :)
Here is a picture from the beginning of his first week- his first day on the outside!
He:
-has gained an entire pound since we left the hospital last saturday
-is eating and sleeping well, despite wanting to be held while he falls asleep - but seriously, when I can look at a face like that, how could lack of sleep really bother me?
-does NOT like having his diaper changed, he screams like a pterodactyl, and ryan and I think its precious
-had his first bath yesterday, he loved it!
-sleeps in a "bed" we made on the ottoman of our couch, since it has a 'dip' in it, so he cant roll.
-refuses to sleep in his bassinet, we hope this is just a newborn phase!
-has a range of emotions, even though we are pretty sure they all have to do with gas at this point
-has SO many different crys, we are learning what each one means...its difficult! So far, most of them mean "Hold me, mom and dad!"
-has an unbreakable and unconditional hold on my heartstrings, and I wouldnt have it any other way
I:
- am healing VERY well, I have virtually no pain
-am breastfeeding, and *thank goodness* havent had any issues with him latching on or feeding. The pediatrician was shocked to find out that Mason gained an entire pound in a week on JUST breastmilk. Apparently I make enough milk for twins!
-am beside myself with the size of my boobs...okay seriously...they look incredible! haha
-went on a date with Ryan last thursday, we dressed up and ate steak and I didnt smell like milk and it was SO romantic, even if it was just for an hour!
-have lost 20 pounds so far, im only 10ish (maybe less) pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight
-find myself waking up from naps at every little sound he makes. I thought I was a light sleeper before, but sheesh! Just need to reassure myself that he is okay...and he always is :)
-am only moderately over-worried and over-protective of him, despite what Ryans friends may think when I refuse to let them hold him if they have been drinking...sorry guys!
- could look at his chubby little face forever, its hard to believe that we made such a perfect little person!
this is love.
Here is a picture from the beginning of his first week- his first day on the outside!
He:
-has gained an entire pound since we left the hospital last saturday
-is eating and sleeping well, despite wanting to be held while he falls asleep - but seriously, when I can look at a face like that, how could lack of sleep really bother me?
-does NOT like having his diaper changed, he screams like a pterodactyl, and ryan and I think its precious
-had his first bath yesterday, he loved it!
-sleeps in a "bed" we made on the ottoman of our couch, since it has a 'dip' in it, so he cant roll.
-refuses to sleep in his bassinet, we hope this is just a newborn phase!
-has a range of emotions, even though we are pretty sure they all have to do with gas at this point
-has SO many different crys, we are learning what each one means...its difficult! So far, most of them mean "Hold me, mom and dad!"
-has an unbreakable and unconditional hold on my heartstrings, and I wouldnt have it any other way
I:
- am healing VERY well, I have virtually no pain
-am breastfeeding, and *thank goodness* havent had any issues with him latching on or feeding. The pediatrician was shocked to find out that Mason gained an entire pound in a week on JUST breastmilk. Apparently I make enough milk for twins!
-am beside myself with the size of my boobs...okay seriously...they look incredible! haha
-went on a date with Ryan last thursday, we dressed up and ate steak and I didnt smell like milk and it was SO romantic, even if it was just for an hour!
-find myself waking up from naps at every little sound he makes. I thought I was a light sleeper before, but sheesh! Just need to reassure myself that he is okay...and he always is :)
-am only moderately over-worried and over-protective of him, despite what Ryans friends may think when I refuse to let them hold him if they have been drinking...sorry guys!
- could look at his chubby little face forever, its hard to believe that we made such a perfect little person!
this is love.
Mason Zachary Rodgers - One week old.
As soon as we get our new camera, I PROMISE that all the pictures I upload (minus those sporadic iphone moments) will be higher quality, All these pictures are from my and Ryans phones.
next baby update on July 9th! thats his ONE MONTH! ahhh.
-Masons Momma
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Masons Birth Story
When our doctor told us that we were going to be induced, it was a mixture of emotions. At first we were glad that we finally had a date we could meet him, then disappointed that it wouldnt be a surprise, but then the joy of knowing that we would meet our son in less than a week made all the bad feelings go away!
We went to the hospital to get induced on Wednesday, June 8th, at 8pm. They started the pitocin drip and we were on our way! I got NO sleep. How could I have possibly slept knowing that my baby boy was on the way!? Through the night, Ryan and my momma slept, and the nurses came in to check on me and turn up the pitocin drip. Around 3am they started asking me if I had a "really high pain tolerance", I didnt think I did, but they said usually people with contractions like the ones I was having, had already asked for an epidural. But I wanted to wait.
At around 8am I got the epidural, and a doctor came in to break my water, it was SO. WEIRD! I wont describe it, but seriously, it felt crazy. And no, the epidural did not hurt, I was pretty worried about that and it just didnt hurt at all! yay! The dilation progressed somewhat quickly from there. Ryan was getting anxious, which was making me even more excited. At 3pm, the urge to push was pretty intense, but we had to wait for the doctor. All of our family and most of our friends were already at the hospital by this time. It makes my heart sing to think about all the love that filled that hospital room before mason even came! at 5:10 (yes, I was watching the clock like a hawk, willing it to move faster so we could get the show on the road) we started pushing with each contraction...the feeling was incredible, and with Ryan holding my hand (then eventually my leg)I felt so strong! 8 contractions later and Baby Mason was born at 5:50!
There arent even words to describe the flood of emotions I felt when he finally came out and they set him on my belly. He is perfect. I have that memory engrained in my mind. I had never seen a more perfect sight; I could live in that moment forever. His first cry was like an angel, and thats when I started crying. All I wanted to do was snuggle him and Ryan close and never ever let go! when they finally finished cleaning him up and handed him back to us, this is what we saw:
perfect, right? and he opened his eyes so early. I've had to pause at least 5 times in the blog so far to wipe away the tears, I seriously couldnt have asked for a more perfect baby. I must have told Ryan "you did so good" like 10 times... He kept looking at me like I was crazy and telling me "you did all the work, babe"...but just LOOK at that FACE! hes like Ryans mirror image. Love it.
After we left the birthing suite, we took the long trip to our room. We passed by the waiting room...and MUCH to my surprise, it was full of ONLY our family and friends. so much love. It had to have looked like a parade going down the hall and filing into our room, Im not positive how many people were there, but Im thinking it was around 20 all at once, with our families and friends! ahhh, my heart just explodes. Baby Mason is so lucky to come into such a loving environment.
Life is beautiful, incredible, and GOOD, and we cant wait to see where this journey takes our new little family.
-Mason's Momma
We went to the hospital to get induced on Wednesday, June 8th, at 8pm. They started the pitocin drip and we were on our way! I got NO sleep. How could I have possibly slept knowing that my baby boy was on the way!? Through the night, Ryan and my momma slept, and the nurses came in to check on me and turn up the pitocin drip. Around 3am they started asking me if I had a "really high pain tolerance", I didnt think I did, but they said usually people with contractions like the ones I was having, had already asked for an epidural. But I wanted to wait.
At around 8am I got the epidural, and a doctor came in to break my water, it was SO. WEIRD! I wont describe it, but seriously, it felt crazy. And no, the epidural did not hurt, I was pretty worried about that and it just didnt hurt at all! yay! The dilation progressed somewhat quickly from there. Ryan was getting anxious, which was making me even more excited. At 3pm, the urge to push was pretty intense, but we had to wait for the doctor. All of our family and most of our friends were already at the hospital by this time. It makes my heart sing to think about all the love that filled that hospital room before mason even came! at 5:10 (yes, I was watching the clock like a hawk, willing it to move faster so we could get the show on the road) we started pushing with each contraction...the feeling was incredible, and with Ryan holding my hand (then eventually my leg)I felt so strong! 8 contractions later and Baby Mason was born at 5:50!
There arent even words to describe the flood of emotions I felt when he finally came out and they set him on my belly. He is perfect. I have that memory engrained in my mind. I had never seen a more perfect sight; I could live in that moment forever. His first cry was like an angel, and thats when I started crying. All I wanted to do was snuggle him and Ryan close and never ever let go! when they finally finished cleaning him up and handed him back to us, this is what we saw:
perfect, right? and he opened his eyes so early. I've had to pause at least 5 times in the blog so far to wipe away the tears, I seriously couldnt have asked for a more perfect baby. I must have told Ryan "you did so good" like 10 times... He kept looking at me like I was crazy and telling me "you did all the work, babe"...but just LOOK at that FACE! hes like Ryans mirror image. Love it.
Life is beautiful, incredible, and GOOD, and we cant wait to see where this journey takes our new little family.
-Mason's Momma
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Dear Baby
Dear Baby Mason,
I suppose this is my last week that I'll have a surplus of time to just sit around and write, so theres just a few things I wanted to say to you:
I love you. I've loved you since you were just a scary little "plus" on the pregnancy test. I cant wait to meet you. I cant wait to see your face and squeeze your chubby cheeks and laugh at how much you look like your adorable father :) I cant wait to find out things you like and things you dont like, I cant wait to see if you love PBJ as much as I do. I cant wait to read you your favorite book, and then someday, for you to read it to me.
Its like one day you just suddenly popped into existence, changed my whole life, and im just totally 100% okay with that. You're going to be so perfect, I seriously cant think of anyway you could be less than perfect, except maybe if you turn out to be your fathers clone...nope, that'd be perfect too.
Your daddy already has camo overalls for you to wear when you go "hunting" ...(which at 12 months old, im not sure what hes thinking), and he has been talking about buying you a tiny little bow so you can go bow-fishing with him. People ask me if he will be a momma's boy, but from the looks of things, I think you'll be a little manly man just like your father. Oh I just cant wait.
The doctor says that unless you decide to make your appearance in the next 6 days, he is going to induce labor on Wednesday the 8th, at 8pm. You should be born sometime on the 9th. Im a little bummed that it wont be a suprise, but then again, ANY way I can see you is perfectly fine with me. I guess you just want to stay with mommy a liiiiitle bit longer, I dont blame you, I'd miss me too! haha oh Mason, when you come out, please dont enable me when I say things like that! :)
What am I supposed to say to you when you come out and they hand you to me? Do I introduce myself? Will you know who I am? I've been reading you books and singing to you and talking for the past 9 months, maybe you will recognize my voice. Should I say "Hi Mason, Im your mom.".. no... thats too formal. "Hey baby, how are you?" ... um...you just traveled down my birth canal, I can only assume the answer to that question. I guess when they hand you to me, I'll just wing it. Isn't that basically what parenting is, a form of "winging it" long enough to see if you turned out okay?
Who am I kidding? I know youll turn out perfect, because seriously, how could you not? There is a RIDICULOUS number of people who love you, I mean really, both of your grandparents already have all these plans for you. Im so excited for you to meet them.
Anyways, I just wanted to write you a letter and tell you how happy I am that you're coming to live at my house and be my baby next week. We are going to have so much fun, I promise. When youre older, I hope we can still have fun then, and I wont be a nerd or something...because I know youll be super-suave and probably wont want to hang around your mom very much. I want you to know, Mason, that I'll support any decision you make, even if you dont like me for whatever reason teens dont like their parents. I will never judge you, and I hope you know that you can tell me anything, because I love you more than fish love water.
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
I suppose this is my last week that I'll have a surplus of time to just sit around and write, so theres just a few things I wanted to say to you:
I love you. I've loved you since you were just a scary little "plus" on the pregnancy test. I cant wait to meet you. I cant wait to see your face and squeeze your chubby cheeks and laugh at how much you look like your adorable father :) I cant wait to find out things you like and things you dont like, I cant wait to see if you love PBJ as much as I do. I cant wait to read you your favorite book, and then someday, for you to read it to me.
Its like one day you just suddenly popped into existence, changed my whole life, and im just totally 100% okay with that. You're going to be so perfect, I seriously cant think of anyway you could be less than perfect, except maybe if you turn out to be your fathers clone...nope, that'd be perfect too.
Your daddy already has camo overalls for you to wear when you go "hunting" ...(which at 12 months old, im not sure what hes thinking), and he has been talking about buying you a tiny little bow so you can go bow-fishing with him. People ask me if he will be a momma's boy, but from the looks of things, I think you'll be a little manly man just like your father. Oh I just cant wait.
The doctor says that unless you decide to make your appearance in the next 6 days, he is going to induce labor on Wednesday the 8th, at 8pm. You should be born sometime on the 9th. Im a little bummed that it wont be a suprise, but then again, ANY way I can see you is perfectly fine with me. I guess you just want to stay with mommy a liiiiitle bit longer, I dont blame you, I'd miss me too! haha oh Mason, when you come out, please dont enable me when I say things like that! :)
What am I supposed to say to you when you come out and they hand you to me? Do I introduce myself? Will you know who I am? I've been reading you books and singing to you and talking for the past 9 months, maybe you will recognize my voice. Should I say "Hi Mason, Im your mom.".. no... thats too formal. "Hey baby, how are you?" ... um...you just traveled down my birth canal, I can only assume the answer to that question. I guess when they hand you to me, I'll just wing it. Isn't that basically what parenting is, a form of "winging it" long enough to see if you turned out okay?
Who am I kidding? I know youll turn out perfect, because seriously, how could you not? There is a RIDICULOUS number of people who love you, I mean really, both of your grandparents already have all these plans for you. Im so excited for you to meet them.
Anyways, I just wanted to write you a letter and tell you how happy I am that you're coming to live at my house and be my baby next week. We are going to have so much fun, I promise. When youre older, I hope we can still have fun then, and I wont be a nerd or something...because I know youll be super-suave and probably wont want to hang around your mom very much. I want you to know, Mason, that I'll support any decision you make, even if you dont like me for whatever reason teens dont like their parents. I will never judge you, and I hope you know that you can tell me anything, because I love you more than fish love water.
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
Monday, May 16, 2011
weeks 33 through 36
How far along? 37 weeks 1 day
What I miss: having a personal bubble where people couldnt touch me. It's like being pregnant is a magnet for ANYone and EVERYone to touch me. I feel like I need to wear a sign that says: "I am not friendly. please dont touch" haha.
What I am looking forward to: kissing those sweet baby cheeks!!! also, I cannot wait to see Ryan holding his son for the first time. Im tearing up just thinking about how amazing of a father he will be to our little man!
How big is baby? we havent had an ultrasound since week 30, so we can only assume he is growing normally...he is probably around 6.5 or 7 pounds now
Total weight gain: +28lbs - I only gained 2 pounds in my 7th month, and 1 pound in my eighth month - healthy eating FTW! :)
Stretch marks? negative ... wooo! *fingers crossed that I make it the next 3 weeks without them!*
This is me. Taken in the bathroom at my parents house on Easter - 34 weeks
Sleep: ive been making a conscious effort to stop drinking water at least an hour before bed, to try to stay asleep longer through the night. It worked! however... through the end of the 36th week, ive been having REALLY strong contractions at night, so im still not sleeping!
Movement: We have been really concentrating on his movement lately, due to his positioning...most of the kicks go to my left side, and hiccups are on the right side. too cute. We have been using his hiccups to try to predict his location and position
What I miss: having a personal bubble where people couldnt touch me. It's like being pregnant is a magnet for ANYone and EVERYone to touch me. I feel like I need to wear a sign that says: "I am not friendly. please dont touch" haha.
What I am looking forward to: kissing those sweet baby cheeks!!! also, I cannot wait to see Ryan holding his son for the first time. Im tearing up just thinking about how amazing of a father he will be to our little man!
Worries: we found out at our 36 week appointment that Mason has turned himself, and is now breeched. This worries the HECK out of me. If he doesnt turn himself around by next week (week 38) theyre going to schedule the c-section for the following week. I DONT WANT A C-SECTION!!!!!! It's not that I am scared of surgery (I've had 4, its not a big deal) its just that I dont want to be under anesthesia and not get to hold MY BABY as soon as he comes out! I dont want him to be all cracked out on c-section drugs and unable to breastfeed. I dont want there to be "complications" or any "accidents" during the c-section that end with Mason being injured, or me having a hysterectomy... I just dont "want" any of that.... but if my OB says thats our only option then fine.... but I cant help but pout. So I've been spending the last week and a half crawling around our house and laying upside down and putting frozen peas on top of my belly to convince him to turn...and sometimes it feels like he has....sometimes...
What did you just say to me?!?:
"are you excited?" ........SO TIRED OF HEARING THIS!
"it's so good that you and the babys father are still together...that NEVER happens" - uhhh...since when does that NEVER happen?! haha I actually laughed out loud when a girl said this to me.
"I cant wait to meet your baby!" - awww. me too! It makes my heart sing to find out that So many people already love little Mason Zachary Rodgers... (or Juan Pablo McQueen, if Ryan goes bowfishing while im in labor...although who is that REALLY punishing?! hahaha)
Oh, and THIS:
We had an INCREDIBLE baby shower, Masons room is FULL of so many wonderful brand new baby things! I was amazed at how many people came to support Ryan, Mason and I! We feel so blessed :)
Another weird pregnancy thing: CRAZY DREAMS!
I've gotten used to having odd dreams (I burp and the baby comes out of my mouth and I wonder if i should just swallow him to put him back...?!?!) but now the dreams are frighteningly realistic. For example, I had a dream a few nights ago that Mason came out unexpectedly, and for whatever reason, I was unconcious for the birth. When I awoke in the dream, I was alone and had to search the hospital, only to find my family holding a baby GIRL and telling me that there was a mistake.....AHHHH PANIC, FEAR, ANXIETY! I'm not prepared for that!!!
I keep dreaming that I go into labor and for whatever reason, I cant find Ryan. This worries me, mostly because its wholly possible that I'll go into labor in the next 3 weeks while he is at work. Its possible that he will be on a roof and un-reachable for an hour or 2. I know that Ill be in labor for probably 20 hours, but I just feel like I NEED him there for all of it. It really REALLY panics me to think that he wouldnt be there for every contraction, even though he really cant do anything. I just need him.
Speaking of being Needy- the 9th month has brought on an emotional side of me that Ryan and my mother find hilarious. Example- my mom said she thought a dress I liked looked like a swimsuit cover-up. My response? As soon as I get home, breakdown into a sobbing weeping mess and scare Ryan because he came home and saw me on the floor, in fetal position, crying.
Example 2- rainwater leaked into our basement, and got an old rug wet and it smelly like mildewy towel in the whole house for 2 days. My response? breakdown resulting in calling and scaring Ryan at work (Im not supposed to call unless im in labor) for him to immediately come home and get rid of the rug. Apparently I was sobbing about "I dont want a moldy baby" or something. Ryan says that I did so good for the first 8 months, but apparently it takes VERY little these days to completely crush my world and make me cry for 20 minutes. Im so lucky to have Ryan...he picks me off the floor and lets me cry and slime all over his shirt while I explain whatever irrational sadness is plaguing me. haha, poor guy. He deserves a medal :)
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